Rules Rulez!

Just ask my beta readers!

There are most definitely rules to writing.

Anyone who tells you differently is likely headed for an accident themselves.

Unless their name is Pynchon, or McCarthy, or Rowling, or King—or if you prefer Earnhardt, Schumacher, and Andretti (I had to look those up)—always view this advice with the same skepticism as a fruit-vending snake.

What they probably meant to say is: First know the rules, and then know when to break them.

If you’re breaking them because you don’t know them, that’s as bad as driving the wrong way down the 101 during rush hour while wearing a blindfold, screaming, “All gods are bastards!”

On the other hand, if you’re writing at a good clip, following your roadmap outline, and a character suddenly swerves into your lane, throwing out plot-twists and dialogue, that’s the time to take some decisive action.

Grammar, spelling, and punctuation are as important—maybe even more so—as plot, dialogue, and believable characters. Nothing takes a reader out of a story faster, shattering that illusion of willing belief than a poorly executed line resulting in unwanted hilarity due to lack of solid basics:

“What are you going to do?  Ink them to death?” Jane asked.

“My penis mightier than their swords!” Dick said, thrusting his implement into the air triumphantly.

Nothing throws ice-water on a clever moment as effectively. The odd typo is certainly forgivable—even the Big Five have a certain number of errors in every release, no matter whose name is on the cover.  But repeated errors will start to frustrate and annoy your reader to the point that, no matter how great the story, they’ll walk away frustrated, and perhaps ride to the nearest 1-star review:

I hate wet and reiny days. It rained alot in 1816 .... alot - like everyday    the weather in Europe was crazxy whet and it rained 183 out of the one-hundred-and-thirty days from January to February to March. the onnly thing U could doo without TeeV or anything was to sat. I sat.  I sat and sas and sat.

Imagine page after page of at that level.  Did you make it through, or are you now curled up in a ball, shuddering at the evil?  We can only communicate if we’re all playing by the same rules.  Stories need to adhere even more closely, so that they can reach the widest audience possible and have the greatest chance of getting the messages through.

The 13 Lives of a Television Repairman by M.D. Thalmann

Here lies the world.
That's one way to do it!

“The 13 Lives of a Television Repair Man” by M.D. Thalmann provides a character-driven look at a post-apocalyptic world and the events that led up to it. This is a unique look at post-apoc scifi, and Thalmann uses his narrator, Arthur, to great effect building up to and through the cataclysmic events.

The world has died, and Arthur knows how it happened. In many ways, he caused it. But to get there, and to understand the character and the events, the reader is first treated to a wonderful character, one most people can relate to. Starting in Cold War America in the 1950s, Arthur becomes enamored of the magic of television. While his parents are struggling through their own realities, Arthur finds solace and comfort in the warm glow of an old cathode ray-tube Zenith. Unfortunately, when the Zenith breaks, and his parents can’t afford to fix it, he’s cut adrift. Eventually, Arthur is taken in by a television repairman, who sees promise in the boy, and inadvertently sets things on a collision course to destruction.

Thalmann provides a unique perspective into the life of a man lost and gasping, while trying to make sense of the world and make a living and life for himself. Nothing is ever easy, even being a television repairman. Readers will come to respect that bygone profession, and see the events that led up to the end of the world through the eyes of a wonderful character. There is laughter, tears, frustration, and joy in walking with Arthur through his life, and ultimately to the end of the world.

Conservation of Characters

Tell your sister . . . I'll be back as a young and vibrant Force ghost!

There’s a rule that almost every movie and book series adheres to called “Conservation of Characters.” The thrust is simple: a writer/reader spends time introducing, understanding, and relating to a character as they go through conflicts and resolutions. Because of the limited space of books and movies, Conservation of Characters results in a noticeable and significantly lower percentage of death vs. danger.

Television shows have a lot more room to play with this.  Actors typically don’t want to sign up just to be killed off, but there is still room over, under, through and around this rule.  “Supernatural” plays with this on and off, sometimes “killing” even the main characters, only to have them return after a reasonable story-arc about them being dead.

The point is that it's much easier to change characters over time, through injuries, torture, mental anguish, etc. than it is to realistically kill off that character and have to start the process over.  Because of this, often the twist of a movie or a book can be seen some distance off, as the number of characters a writer can introduce has to be reasonable enough for a reader to absorb.  The number of characters a writer can reasonably kill off is even less.

It’s not a bad thing.  It’s a thing that writers (and readers) should be aware of.

Looking back, I've killed off at least one major character in every genre fiction book I've written. I didn't realize it until I was thinking about this concept. Apparently, I buy into the "writer as bastard" concept and figure that the more fights a character gets into, the more likely they—or someone close to them—are to get killed.

Creatures of Will and Temper by Molly Tanzer

“Creatures of Will and Grace” by Molly Tanzer is a wonderful homage to the late, great Oscar Wilde and the only novel he published, “The Picture of Dorian Gray”.  Readers concerned that they need to be intimately familiar with Wilde’s original need not worry.  Tanzer has created a novel that stands on its own, while paying all due respect.

Set in Victorian London, sisters Evadne and Dorina find themselves being introduced to society through Lady Henrietta “Henry” Wotten.  Henry wears tailored pants (gasp), speaks her mind, and lives her life often in conflict with what is deemed acceptable. She is everything a rebellious woman of this era should be, while never quite crossing into the anachronistic of the modern.  Naturally, Dorina is immediately and completely enamored of the older, wiser, and wholly engaging woman.  While Evadne, athletic to the last, finds Henry's lack of conformity uncomfortable to say the least.  Leaving her sister to her own devices, she evades the rule-breaking Henry with the lesser evil of finding a fencing master—her own, personal will.  Almost in parallel, the sisters are introduced to an underground London, where magic and demon summoning are the rule of the day, and darker forces are at work.

The pacing will be slow for some readers, especially those unfamiliar with Victorian era storytelling.  However, the way in which Tanzer develops her characters and world is in keeping with the plot and the source material.  Once all the pieces are in place, the pace picks up, almost too quickly.

“Creatures of Will and Grace” is a delicious glimpse into an alternate history, with all the trappings of Victorian England and its “proper” society.  Between Dorina, Henry and Evadne, readers will be able to peer through the shop windows and see a brilliant reflection of our own world.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

It's good to be bad!

So, Star Wars: The Last Jedi released, and Luke Skywalker was right: “This is not going to go the way you think.”

Ok, that’s a big, fat lie.  It goes exactly the way you think, except for the parts where it doesn’t.  The Last Jedi does . . . or did?  Whatever Yoda would say, and how!

This will be a spoiler-free report, so read on without fear or remorse.

Anyone who pans these films just doesn’t know how to embrace the cheese.  The movies are fun, but they’ve always been light-fare of a local boy who goes big.  They’re space opera, with emphasis on the opera part—big heroes, big fights, big explosions wrapped in a “battle for freedom”.

Lucas forgot this during his “prequel” phase, and we’re well rid of him for these installments.  That may be blasphemy to some, and you’re welcome to it.  Lucas was always, always, always the “big idea” guy.  His ideas have now spanned 45 years, and a franchise that can imagine quite a bit more.  He simply could not execute, and as Harrison Ford once told him (paraphrasing), “You can write this stuff, but you can’t say it.”

Thanks for showing us the Force, George.  We’ve got it from here.

The Kessel Run?  That old thing?

Rian Johnson has impressed the hell out of me since Brick (with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, which everyone should now watch, and then own on Blu-Ray).  Taking the reins of the greatest space opera ever has really allowed him to shine.  He treats the characters as one should for the second movie in a planned trilogy—he beats the hell out of them.  That’s not to say he’s disrespectful.  Anything but.  Johnson, who is only a few months younger than me, grew up with Star Wars.  It’s been a part of our cultural tapestry from the start, a thing that, even if we wanted to, we can’t get away from.

It’s a damn shame that Johnson will not be returning for Episode IX.

That said, The Last Jedi does everything the trailers promised and more.  It is visually beautiful and wonderfully exciting.  There are enough lightsabers and space battles to fill an Imperial starships—not the local bulk cruisers, mind you, I'm talking about the big Corellian ships.  Luke Skywalker is all kinds of in this thing, and Carrie Fisher is just so much awesome it will fill your heart to bursting.

Yeah, the view is great, but look at the location!

Another shame that we won’t get to see her in the next movie.

There was at least one scene that put me right into tears, and another that made my jaw drop at the implication.  Johnson did what every Star Wars film should—provided a good story, well told, that left me wanting more.  What The Force Awakens began, and Rogue One promised, The Last Jedi has now delivered.  See it.  See it again.  Buy it on disc and add to your collection with pride.

Marketing Covers for Flames of Perdition Part 3

As promised, here is the theoretical cover art for Company of the Damned.  This might be my favorite out of all three, as it’s the only book that hasn’t released yet, and thus had no first or second cover to salt the well.

Shaken, but not stirred

Also, as I said, I have some news about an upcoming release.  In addition to being picked up by Ellysian Press for the Aubrey Hartmann steampunk books, a side project for Del’s world has been nagging at me.  I’ve decided to give in and write a Jane book.  Jane was supposed to be a one-note side character, a tough-as-nails member of the shadowy Jaccob/Joshua Smalls group operating out of Salt Lake City that Marrin became enamored of.  She ended up growing and her story-arc became more and more prominent—but she’s always been secondary to Del.

Until now!

I’m still working on titles, but the first chapter of the book is written.  This will be a stand-alone, outside of the Flames of Perdition series, but still within that world.  I’ll keep you posted as the work moves forward.

Show & Tell

Tell me again how to make your drink!

Back in the day, I loved, loved, loved Show & Tell time.  Mostly, I loved to show and tell.  Probably we all did, but I don’t recall a thing anyone showed and told about during Show & Tell.  Probably it was a lot of stuffed animals and real animals and whatnot.  I do, however, remember some of my showing and telling.

Writers are often told “show, don’t tell.”  It’s one of the first things posted on a request for critique.

Telling actually has a place in writing.

It may seem like blasphemy to the masses of new authors eagerly attending their first conference, but it isn't always practical to show.  Some scenes, technical, mechanicals, etc. can't be shown, they have to be told—especially if the character is trying to understand why a thing isn't working in the first place, and they need that thing to work.

But Rob!  Why would a character think through all the aspects of a piece of technology?

Well, Slotted Pig, in real life, we do this in our heads all the time without really thinking. When an app fails to load or function correctly, we start to run through all the steps: turn the device off and back on, reinstall the app, check for updates and patches, etc. Some of that is pretty common, so it’s not very interesting to a reader.  When dealing with a process, tech, magic, etc. that is not common, or is wholly made-up, then some telling is not only needed, it’s downright necessary.

A simple example that nearly everyone can relate to is “trigger discipline.”

Most people don't know what trigger discipline is, even if they've handled a gun a few times.  Books and TV and Hollywood often get it wrong.  Tarantino even exploited this hand-waved trope in Pulp Fiction when Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) accidentally shoots Marvin in the back of the car due to his complete lack of trigger discipline.

In the case of trigger discipline you’re actually accomplishing both telling and showing at the same time.  You tell the reader what the term means, and in so doing, that your character knows how to properly handle a gun, that she’s a trained and even competent professional.

Certainly, there should be more showing and less telling going on in a story.  It's easier to be immersed in the visceral experience of a world that feels real.  But to say you should never tell is just not what storytellers should be hearing.