Wednesday, December 30, 2020

And the Award for Most Drama in a Non-Dramatic Situation Goes To . . .

Wonder Woman does not
approve of your shenanigans 
Yesterday, my wife had the GENIUS idea (and that’s not said sarcastically) to go to the drive-in theater.  I mean, it’s a Tuesday, right before a big holiday, and no one is really thinking about the movies anyhow, and there’s not THAT much out there playing anyhow.

“Wanna go see Wonder Woman?”

My answer was inappropriately excited but appropriately profanity laden.

“We’ll get dinner at Sonic which is just down the street from the drive-in.”

Genius, I say!

My two older boys were reasonably excited to go to the movies.  When my youngest, skeptically, asked what we were going to see, I told him.

“Ugghhh! I HATE your old movies. They’re sooooooo boring.”

That’s a direct quote.

I tried to talk him down, but he insisted I was lying/teasing. I can’t recall which and both are legitimate criticisms of my parenting skills. I even sent him to his mom, which usually shuts these things down, but he was adamant.  Only the promise of Sonic drive-thru soothed his broken soul.

Never apologize for
an effective kill circle
So, off we went. Sonic was indeed a decent enough, if somewhat expensive, choice. I can’t begrudge their flavor, but their portions-by-price leave some things to be desired. Like portions.

All was well. Until we actually pulled into the theater. Then, a mutiny the likes of which would cause even Captain Bligh to shudder with fear. My oldest son was bemoaning, in his patient and kind way, that his brothers weren’t old enough to watch “Monster Hunters” which was also playing. Then, suddenly, they all saw that “The Croods: A New Age” was also playing at the drive-in . . . and my dreams of seeing both 1984 and Diana Prince in action again were shattered, cast into the fire, and scattered into the winds.

This was when my 8yo decided the evening wasn’t enough about him. Keep in mind, at this age, he’s small enough to sit comfortably in a cup holder, and we were in my Ford F-150 Crew Cab. So, naturally, he was angry about where he's sitting, how he's sitting, why he's sitting.  Right on queue, as the action is heating up in the movie, he has to go to the bathroom.

The movie WAS fun and so was getting Sonic food to eat before the movie, but . . . yeah, sometimes these dudes, especially the little one, harsh my calm.