Friday, May 3, 2013

Personal Ad

A brief exercise to keep my sanity:

When my wife finally comes to her senses and decides to leave me, I’ve decided, like the good Assistant Boy Scout Master that I am, to be prepared.  I’ve started putting together my personal ad.  Since you’ve all been so helpful with my writing in the past, I thought I would post my draft here for your opinions.

Single-male kicked to the curb for obvious reasons seeking like-minded girl with perky trust fund.  Someone broken that I can pretend to fix, but will more likely suck my will to live while simultaneously draining my bank account.  Head games are a must.  Drama is a part of life.  Just look at the Greeks, the Romans, that Shakespeare fellow and all those great Bellisario television shows.  Drama, drama, drama.  I would not like to be “just friends” first and “see where it goes”.  Leap before you look, go off half-cocked and always, always, always take the tiger by the tail.  Players, scammers, gold-diggers, head-gamers, and of course anyone from the rude, crude, trailer-trash-talking demographics are urged to apply.

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