Monday, August 22, 2016

R.A. and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Don't worry, you still have the view!
The morning started out so well.

My recently cleaned out garage now sported a working “refrigerator” which I had stuffed full of my favorite Monster Ultra energy drink.  My two oldest boys were up and being pleasant.  They even took out the recycling without too much grumbling.  Local birds, squirrels and an anthropomorphic mice colony all helped select my clothing, make my bed and accompanied me on a lovely Broadway hit.

I was out the door with my workout clothes washed and ready to run.

The first sign of trouble was when the “refrigerator” was frozen closed.  Turns out it’s really a freezer.  No matter how low you set the temperature, it will freeze all of your Monster Ultra energy drink cans and cause them to explode.

Thirty-two cans of joy and happiness died a stray dog’s death—sad, lonely and broken.

But which one is Yu-Gi-Oh!?
I grabbed a spare cardboard box, my mood dampened and slightly chilled.  I turned the freezer off, started loading out all the cans of Monster.  One of them popped and hissed, spraying me with caffeinated tears of sorrow.  A few cans looked like they may have survived, but only time would tell if they could defrost and be saved.

Well, I still had my good, trusty, old reliable truck!  I hopped in and immediately knew something was wrong.  The sweet door chirping didn’t grace my ears.  When I put the key into the ignition, nothing happened.  The battery was dead.

Now I was late.

Late, but still prepared.  I opened the garage, got out the extension cord and my car battery jump-starter.  Plugged the whole thing in and walked back into the house to watch Yu-Gi-Oh with my boys.  They refuse to tell me which character is Yu-Gi, but I’m narrowing down the suspects.  After a lot of battling with cards, the Dyson Sphere was defeated, and I went back out to start my truck.




A couple of clicks suggested that electricity had somehow found its way into the battery, but
not the amount that should have resulted in a catch, roar and me thundering down the highway to my office.

My jump starter, after 20+ years of faithful, unwavering service, had failed me.

I was able to bring around our family van and park it in front of the truck.  Fortunately, having cleaned out the garage two weeks ago, I knew exactly where my jumper cables were.  Slapped those bad boys on the terminals, waited five minutes and BLAM-O, the truck fired up.

So, I’m only down 90 minutes, 36 Monster Ultras and a jump-starter.

And it’s only Monday.

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