Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Whatcha Gonna Do?

This past weekend I got up early to run over to the 24-hour pharmacy.  Early birds get the controlled narcotics!  I took my youngest son with me because he was the only one who wanted to go.  Xavi likes to tell stories when we go anywhere, or sit around the house, or when he’s supposed to be going to sleep—mostly I just nod and smile.
Sure, we'll take your Costco card as identification!

Once at the pharmacy, I realized that I’d forgotten my phone.  This is only important because my phone also keeps my driver’s license and my credit cards.  I had grabbed my mostly empty wallet which has my expired Disneyland annual pass, Costco membership card and a train ticket from 2009.

The lady behind the counter was understandably sympathetic.  It was clear I hadn’t just come across the insurance card, brought my son along for the fun of it, and just hoped that this “RobertRoy R. Mccandles” had prescription narcotics on file.  But rules are rules.  You have to have a picture ID to get your meds.

She turned to the pharmacist.  “Is there any way we can give Mr. McCandless his medication?  He forgot his ID.”

The pharmacist looked at her like she’d turned into Zaphod Beeblebrox’s second head.

“He drove here, didn’t he?  How can he drive here without his driver’s license?”

“He forgot it,” the lady replied.

The pharmacist had clearly had enough of this conversation already.  She left her pill-counting station, came up to the counter and gave me a thousand-yard sniper stare from about five-foot even.

Why are you even questioning my honesty?
“How can you not have your license?” she asked.

I thought she was joking and I laughed.

“I know, I know,” I said.  “I just forgot it.  I have my Disney pass if that helps?”

“What happens if police pull you over?” she continued to blast away at me like was some teenager out for a joy ride in mom’s mini-van.  “What you going to do then?  Huh?”

“I usually have it,” I told her, with a little edge in my voice.  “I just forgot it this morning.”

“You so silly,” she told me.  She turned to other lady.  “Verify his information and we give him his meds.”

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