From
Heroic Tales of Legendary Heroes: Book
One, The Awesome Heroes of Epicdom:
Whaddya mean 'compensating'? |
The barbarian
warrior strode through the mist, the hilt of a massive longsword jutted over
his shoulder. The sheathed blade nearly
touched the ground behind him. Lord
Raskil Badsmellingham shook at the sight of the newcomer, his hand suddenly
sweaty on the hilt of his sword. He shot
a glance at Princess Adelaide, but the barbarian could see that whatever his nefarious
plot, the evil Lord Raskil wouldn’t have time to complete it.
“Surrender,” the
barbarian growled.
“Never,” Lord
Raskil replied. “I’ve come to far.”
The barbarian
smiled. This is what he’d hoped
for. A final fight. Trial by combat, and Chrahm, his god in the
forges of Drog Dorgthaki would be pleased by the offering of a king sliding
from his blade.
“Then die!”
The barbarian
reached over his shoulder and grabbed the hilt of his longsword. He started to draw the massive blade, but
only managed to pull thirty-eight inches of the five foot length clear of the
sheath. His smile turned to a frown as
he tugged again. But his well-muscled
arm, even on his six-and-a-half-foot frame, was only forty inches long. It was simple math, which the Hyperhyborian
teachers had tried to drill into his head, only to have the young barbarian
scoff at them. After all, what could
math gain him that his sword could not?
. . . but it looks good! |
Lord Raskil Badsmellingham
wasted no time. He lunged a full,
perfect extension into the barbarian’s unprotected mid-section, his blade
sliding a surgery-perfect wound just above the belly button. The barbarian tried one more time to pull his
massive blade free from the prison of its sheath, still trapped on his back
where it had looked so impressive. Lord
Raskil pulled his blade free and thrust it a second time into the barbarian,
and a third, and a forth, and then a fifth.
The barbarian tried to fall to his knees, but the still-sheathed blade
kept him making anything even approaching a dignified or picturesque, and he
toppled onto his side.
“Aren’t you dead
yet?” Lord Raskil asked, and stabbed the barbarian three more times with his
bloody sword.
The barbarian
died, with his sword still in his sheath and the laughter of Chrahm in his
ears—or it might have been Lord Raskil.
Fantasy
covers, artwork, video games, even written character descriptions often depict
swords, the bigger the better, being carried about in a sheath on the hero’s
back. This sounds and looks fantastic.
It
is wholly impractical.
Well,
let me amend that. If you plan on
anything even close to a useful draw in a combat scenario, say at high noon in
a town square, or in a bar with unusually high ceilings, or anywhere else where
a sword might come in handy in saving your life, then wearing your sword
scabbarded on your back is impractical.
Otherwise,
yeah—Bad Barbarian Mutha’!
Provided
there isn’t going to be an immediate threat to your hero, like say taking a
stroll along a
country path, or attending a kid-friendly family picnic, a
back-sheath would be fine for toting old Long Edge around. In cases where the hero knows he/she is going
to a particular battle and will have time to dress for success, taking off the
sheath, leaving it with a thane, a page, a friend, a sheath-check girl, etc. it
might make sense to march with the weapon secured in this fashion. It’s all rage in Hyperhyperboria!
Boys. Please. |
There’s
little record of back-sheaths amongst most common longsword users—dismounted
knights and men-at-arms. They would sling the weapon from a belt specific for
the task, keep the sword on their saddle (like you might a long rifle), or make
their valet/page keep custody of the weapon.
When it was required, they’d leave horse and sheath together in the rear
with their pages or valets or in their tent or what have you.
The
two-handed swordsmen of 16th-century Europe are almost always depicted with
their swords drawn. When shown on parade
or a march toward battle they would rest the flat of the naked blade their
shoulder. Most historians now think that soldiers, being the lazy,
gold-bricking, sand-bagging, lay-abouts that they were, would just leave these
bulky weapons with the rest of the baggage if there was no immediate threat at
hand.
This
is to say nothing for shorter-bladed weapons, which is a wholly different
topic. Obviously, anything that can
easily clear the sheath on the back becomes far more practical to be carried in
this position. Sleeping, of course, is a
bit awkward, but the coolness factor remains in play, while the likelihood of
being killed while attempting to draw, and draw, and draw your sword is cut
down by a factor of, let’s say, ten.
Yeah, at least ten. Maybe
twelve. Long knives and short swords can
even be worn at the waist, behind the back, although longswords would still not
be able to be drawn from this position—arms, geometry and physics being what
they are.
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