Tuesday, September 27, 2016

You'll Never Believe What Shocking Thing Trump Said!

Get me some of those facts!
If you were confused by last night’s presidential debate, it’s probably because you didn’t know there are two Donald Trumps.

This isn’t really new as far as politics go.  The Right and the Left have always had to appeal to their base voters during the primaries to beat out the other candidates—leaning heavier progressive or conservative in order to do so.  Once the nomination is clinched, the question is only how well they can pivot back toward the middle and secure enough swing votes needed to win.

The trick here is keeping your distance but not looking like you’re keeping your distance.  You have to campaign casual.

But there’s nothing casual about Trump, which is why he’s effectively split in two, contradicting himself, and saying he didn’t say things when anyone paying even remote attention knows he did say those things.  You can call up Sean Hannity and ask him.

For everyone else, I suggest you employ the following memes.  When Trump says something you agree with:

When Trump says something you don’t agree with:

Following that all should be well.  He is, after all, the best.

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