When my wife finally comes to her senses and decides to leave me, I’ve decided, like the good Boy I’ve started putting together my personal ad. Since you’ve all been so helpful with my writing in the past, I thought I would post my draft here for your opinions:
Single-male kicked to the curb for obvious reasons seeking like-minded girl with perky trust fund. Someone broken that I can pretend to fix, but will more likely suck my will to live while simultaneously draining my bank account. Head games are a must. Drama is a part of life. Just look at the Greeks, the Romans, that Shakespeare fellow and all those great Bellisario television shows. Drama, drama, drama. I would not like to be “just friends” first and “see where it goes”. Leap before you look, go off half-cocked and always, always, always take the tiger by the tail. Players, scammers, gold-diggers, head-gamers, and of course anyone from the rude, crude, trailer-trash-talking demographics are urged to apply.